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Friday, February 6th, 2004
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Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
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I always used to give Padua the benefit of the doubt, that their teachers are fair and care about maintaing that fairness. This week I learned something...I am not smart enough to be in AP english. I love reading and writing, but I guess that I just don't cut it. I love english and I believe that I am decently proficient at it. I guess not.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 29th, 2004
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Eveyrthing started off very well today. Mrs. Ainsley asked me to join the AP english class today, which made me really excited. I really enjoy english and want to take this AP test to prove my intelligence to myself and to get out of some college classes in hopes to focus more of my time on theater. So I got really excited and went down to guidance to request a schedule change. the celebration, however, was short lived as Mrs Ainsley came to understand that my effort in Killer Miller's class last year was less than adequate. She had second thoughts about putting me in class, but to be fair she is allowing me to prepare a composition to measure my writing talent. I am going to devote my time and energy into this. I really want it. I want to write well all the time. I want to be able to create beauty in words and right now regular english is not cutting it. Sunday, I hope to have an english party with Fred in hopes to get this composition off the ground, then I will have it done by monday to prove my worth to Mrs. Ainsley.
Well I better get to work...because after this last run on paragraph, it doesn't instill a lot of hope in my essay writing.
later
andrew.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, January 28th, 2004
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GOod to see a c omputer screen again. I miss being online...but now I am back to revel all the little minute details that make up the world of andrew. Cool things have happened. I love God a lot still...my band I put together lost hanusely in the rockoff...it was bogus...I read perks of being a wallflower and for the first time after a book I cried...I listened to the cd I recorded and it made me feel real.
I am real. Kathleen is gorgeous.
andrew
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 16th, 2003
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I am bruce the spruce.... let's hope my computer works better after this xmas
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 31st, 2003
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well so finally everything is good again.. and thats all because I see God again. in phone calls, in warm voice mails, in gentle kisses after a good conversation...ok alright kathleen isn't the only place i'm seeing God. Things are great though... I got picked to talk about love. Being a part of Kairos team has definately put a lot of things in perspective... This is what is important-God and the Juniors on this retreat seeing that, but with the right things in perspective-My eyes of faith have slowly been working their way back on my eyes. I see good in everything, even in myself- Man jesus rocks my world.
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Friday, October 3rd, 2003
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I guess its cool to live with heartbreak casue chicks dig scars.
That note was too intense, the tears hurt my eyes.
this is horrible.
I hope one day we can just sit down and be honest with each other.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, September 22nd, 2003
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I'm so head over heels my ass is in the air.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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So this weekend was alright.
Friday was the football game and we smoked them. 48-0. That was pretty rockin. The halftime show for marching band was pretty cool. I dug it. We played some really sweet songs like the one from gladiator. After we killed Elyria Catholic. We drove back to Padua, I put everything away and took Dana back to his house where a bunch of us hung out. I think it was me, pat, janet, tony, alison, katie, kuhar, Meridith, Apathy, and Rich. It was a great time. It is so great having such great people to spend my weekends with, share everything with its so great. We debuted my new E.P. and it made everyone smile, which made me smile in return. I guess thats the positive of the weekend.
So Saturday was cool. I had a nice run and just hung out for little bit. I burned a copy of my cd for the one-and-only Kathleen. I wrote a little note on it and decorated it for her, just in hopes it would make her smile that special way....:( did not happen.
We had planned to go to a play on saturday, Victor/Victoria. So I offered to pick her up. So I went out to North Royalton, and we went to dinner. I asked Rich to come to dinner with us, because I didn't want to make her feel like it was a date, even though that would have been really rad with me. We ate and hung out and watched football and I realized how gorgeous she looked. But I couldn't tell her that because she hates compliments.
So then we went to the play with carrie (again, so it didn't seem like a date.) and proceeded to watch one of the sloppiest performances of my life. Parts were funny, but overall it was just horrible. I was proud of my boy eric bartkowski though, he definately knows how to dance. We decided to go back to Carrie's, but Carrie was busy talking to Nick who she hasn't talked to in forever, so we went back to carrie's before she did. She finally came back and we watched pieces of brigadoon, Definately made me realize how ugly I am and how much I suck at dancing. We stayed till about 1, then I drove her home.
We get to her drive way and she just says see ya and opens the door and walked away. I guess its too hard to hug someone like me.
I was so honest with her, and when I'm with her, she makes me feel like I can be this great person, shes so great she builds me up. shes funny. shes her own person. I can talk to her about n e thing under the sun for hours at a time. I would venture to say shes perfect.
perfect indeed. an angel in the first degree.
And I know she talks about how its senior year and she doesn't want to hurt me, but she can't. Unless she pulls stuff like this. I've seen the affectionate side of her, and she holds it back and I don't know why and it definately stabs me from the inside out. makes me feel inadequate.
I tried to address the problem again last nite, and she was like we can't keep having this same conversation and going in circles. The fact that she didn't want to talk about it killed me so I just got off the phone in a hurry and she is probably gonna say, hey lets not go to homecoming after all, because you don't know how to put away your feelings and they just get in the way, I guess that's what I deserve when I put my hand out and i don't get a hand in return.
so perfect indeed, an angel in the first degree.
I love Jesus Christ
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, September 21st, 2003
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shes gorgeous, but i definately didn't get a hug goodbye.
I love her eyes.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, September 11th, 2003
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Picnic is a hot play. I'm in it
I got cast as a real annoying paper boy.
its gonna rock.
later
andrew.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
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You can be as cold as you want to me now,
but in the winter whose gonna keep your warm.
I hope your heart catches frostbite.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003
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Monday, September 1st, 2003
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Things are definately good. I think I take them for granted. Not everyone has the greatest friends in the world. Not everyone goes to the greatest school in the world. Sometimes I waste my time on sinfulness and I don't want that anymore. I want to live my life for Jesus Christ, because since he blessed me with the life that I have now, its the least I can do.
My heart is yours Jesus.
This weekend was great aside from the fact that I got majorly lost on my way to pennslyvania. I think it was because I was really tired and burnt out from the football game, because I usually get lost. Well anyway, I ended up coming home and hangin out at my pad for a while. Then I went over Rich's to watch the ohio state game. Kathleen was there, and she is definately my definition of the perfect girl. I could talk to her for hours. Well Ohio State won and that was definately cool.
on Sunday, Josh had everyone over his house, and I mean EVERYONE. I think at one time there were 20 people in his family room just hangin out. which was really cool. Amy kept calling me to cry, but I turned off my phone because It is so hard to console someone who repeats themself for 3 months. Then pancake came over, and I was really excited for her to come over because she was really happy and nice when she was on the phone with me. But then she came over and definately wasn't very fun anymore. It breaks my heart. I want to hang out with her so bad and she is just so hot and cold with me. But I cherish the hots so much, i stick it out through the cold.
The homecoming date scene is definately going to be really sticky. I don't know who I want to ask. I want to have the best possible time ever.
here is the short list.
in no particular order
kathleen
pancake
gina
ashley ganley
cassandra
hmmm....
just don't know
all I know is im wearing a pinstripe tux with tails that nite fo sho!
alright
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
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I wish I had magic words to say, but all I have is this coy smile and cheesy compliments from an honest and cheesy heart.
She doesn't like it when I'm cheesy, she just laughs. She doesn't like love songs.
I hate being shot down.
time to nurse my wound
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, August 17th, 2003
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So I definately went clothes shopping today. I hadn't gotten new school pants in a long time, So It was a nice overhaul. I spent a long day at south park mall, which I had only been to about three times before, so that was really cool. I also ended up in a store I have never been to before, called hollister. Very Very cool stuff. I ended up getting a sweater and a tshirt there.
Now your probably thinking now why I am ranting and raving about clothes shopping like a materiallistic girl, but heres the catch. I am pissed. I bought a size large shirt at hollister, and usually I can rock a medium if i'm goin for the skin tight look, but this shirt was unbelieveable. It is smaller than a medium, I think it might be on the verge of small. I feel like a fatass. This is terrible. What kind of a store would make clothes like that. False advertising is what I say.
needless to say, it doesn't look too bad on me, I was just a wee bit taken a back by the deceving sizing of this shirt. And its not like Im a freaking butterball, but if I buy a large, I buy it for a little bit more roomier a feel, not to replecate a medium.
silly corprate america.
at least its a cool color.
sorry, boy am I a sucker.
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Friday, August 15th, 2003
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I feel like I need to do something. Rise above what I've become. I think I'm getting there. Lets just hope I can get there in time.
I slept through the power outage. Good for me, best way to avoid a catastrophe.
I hope Bill calls tonite. I want to be his friend today.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 14th, 2003
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Great time last nite.
senior pictures.
Volleyball in the coaches shorts while listening to the stylings of the beach boys.
My car needed a jump.
macko throwing the jumper cables at josh.
Pool partay.
kathleen is beautiful.
the hot tub
kathleen is georgeous.
katie brought a really cool dude.
marino is hilarious
I weighed 202
and I'm gonna rock 190 in two weeks.
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bbsunset's journal
disappointed.
contemplative.
grateful.
annoyed.